the chair thief

So I come in this morning to find my desk chair missing. Someone has stolen my chair. It sucks too, because it was a really comfy chair. Plus, you know how you just kinda get used to a particular chair? I've been sitting in that chair for over a year now; it's my chair! The culprit must be found and brought to justice!

The only clue I have is from someone who was here when it happened. He said that someone came in and took them so they could be "redone", whatever the heck that means. There was nothing to "re-do" about the chairs anyway. The only chairs that were taken were mine and another just like it in my coworker's office. They were the last two in the batch of really nice chairs that we got a year or so ago (everyone else has since broken theirs). Are we being punished for keeping our nicer chairs than the others? Has management come to the conclusion that chairs with armrests confer too high a status for us to sit in any longer? Help, I'm trapped in Office Space!

So now I'm stuck sitting in this piece of crap chair that I stole from another office. Stupid chair with no armrests and no back support. I sit and wait, hoping for the return of my chair, but I can't say that I'm overly optimistic about it. May it collapse under the weight of it's new owner!!! (If I can't use it, nobody should.)